Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
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Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
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I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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