We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
