I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
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and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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