I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You dont lie about slip and slides
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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