Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
