I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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