so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
