I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
