Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
