ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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