at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my shit smells like andre
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Randomize