thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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