Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
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I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
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And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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