You made me cry and you don't even care
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Dear god my vagina.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
