I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
