My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
