marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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