They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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