hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
