oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
