Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Someone came in the potted fern
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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