i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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