Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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