If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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