oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize