my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
