This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
