what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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