Buhtt sex?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
