I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
