in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
