I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
