I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
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since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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