Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
