She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize