I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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