a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
