she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
