i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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