You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You're so nebulous sometimes
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
