Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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