Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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