why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
