they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
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You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
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I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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