Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
