super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
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Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
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You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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