her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
