I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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