Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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