My hand turned me down
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
