If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
