There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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