well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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