come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
