Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
