the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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