I CAN MOONWALK!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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