i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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