I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
