She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
